As a registered nurse working in healthcare, I have come to realize how broken our medical model of “care” is. God’s complex intelligence created our bodies and minds. I believe we have only discovered a small fraction of what the body and mind are capable of and how they truly function. I believe that getting back to the basics is how we stay functioning well and where healing happens. I believe God created and provided exactly what we need. In our modern attempts to “overcome” illness or discomfort, we are at a point where we declare war on our bodies- working against them and their intricate processes. We assume they don’t function correctly, so we aim to control them by injecting synthetic drugs, suppressing natural healing responses, or simply cutting parts out. 

​​

I’ve had an even deeper realization about the fact that we take normal, well-functioning bodily processes and manipulate them in an attempt to control them too.

​​

Birth is a prime example of this.

​​

When I was in nursing school about 10 years ago I was introduced to the concept of home birth as a safe, valid option for women to choose. This idea stuck with me as my professor boldly explained that birth is not a medical event that needs to be managed, most of the time. Fast forward a few years later and I’m planning my own home birth for my firstborn. I knew the basics, but I was pretty naïve to the vastness of decisions we would be making during my pregnancy, birth, and parenthood journey. Though birthing at home logically made sense and it was statistically safer for me and our baby- I still had deeply rooted fears leading up to the birth. I shoved those feelings down and continued to gather birth information and fill my head with positive birth stories to convince myself it truly was possible for me. 

​​

Unfortunately, that birth ended in a transfer to the hospital, where I had a non-emergent cesarean. It is my deep belief that every micro-choice I made during my pregnancy & labor were subconsciously serving my true belief- which was that I was not capable of having an uncomplicated, unmedicated birth at home. I got what I subconsciously knew to be true for me at the time. I felt ashamed and totally disempowered as I stepped into my mothering role. I clung to structured “rules” that mainstream culture preaches to parents as I entered motherhood- still believing the lie that everyone else knew how to make decisions for my family better than my husband and I. 

​​

I began to realize something wasn’t settling right inside me. Is this motherhood? Where is this “motherly instinct" people talk about?  I thought once I crossed over into this role, I would feel so much more confident & capable.  I’m anxious, I feel judged no matter what I do, and some of these methods don’t feel right, so why am I following them?

 

I began a rapid transformation, which included A LOT of unlearning and taking radical responsibility for all aspects of my mothering habits, health, and spiritual growth. As I began to study the power of the mind, I quickly started seeing positive results as I used specific tools to intentionally guide my mind toward what was truly stemming from my Holy Spirit-led intuition. This is where I was able to expunge fears and doubts rooted in old, irrelevant beliefs that were not serving me. This played a direct role in my future births & currently serves me in all aspects of my life.

​

I’m always learning, but so far this is true... I have never felt more confident in who I am as a mother, wife, and cultivator of our home. I want to share this with other mothers who feel like a stuck puppet going through the mainstream assembly line of life. There is more. We were created to live in an alignment that brings joy, peace, excitement, and fulfillment. 

 

Self-Responsibility + Alignment = Freedom